Building A Christ-Centered Marital Relationship

Bible and Marital Relationships

The Bible is a book of family and marital relationships. The Word of God begins with a marital relationship in the Garden of Eden. Moreover, the Bible portrays the present relationship with the church and God as a husband and wife. The Bible also ends with a marriage in the skies. The Bible is the only authentic book for a man to find any information or purpose in a marital relationship. God’s will for every marital relationship is to be a happy paradise. 

Ecclesiastes 9:9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun.

Reality of Marital Relationships Today

We are living in times where the institution of family is under great attack. These days, demands at work, school, busy schedules, stress etc. are pressures pulling families apart. I believe that our culture’s definition of marital relationship is much different from God’s definition. We live in a world today in which marriages are seriously overlooked, downplayed and even avoided by many. It is sad that many view a marital relationship as a simple contract for legal purposes and never truly see it as an institution from God. Marriage is a very important commitment that someone makes during their lifetime.

Matthew 5:24-2524Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
Proverbs 14:26 Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.


1)  Give importance to the Word of God

Firstly, make sure that you obey the Word of God in your marital relationship. 
Joshua 1:7-8 7“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

What does the Bible say about marital relationships?

a. Mutual Submission

Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Illustration: Submission in a Marital Relationship
The captain of the ship looked into the dark night and saw faint lights in the distance. Immediately he told his signalman to send a message” “Alter your course 10 degrees south.” Promptly a return message was received: “Alter your course 10 degrees north.” The captain was angered; his command had been ignored. So he sent a second message: “Alter your course 10 degrees south – I am the captain!”

Soon another message was received: “Alter your course 10 degrees north – I am seaman third class Jones.” Immediately the captain sent a third message, knowing the fear it would evoke: “Alter your course 10 degrees south – I am a battleship.” Then the reply came “Alter your course 10 degrees north – I am a lighthouse.” Submission is not easy, isn’t it?

Therefore, the goal for both partners is mutual subjection. However, in the marital relationship, the woman is called by God to take the first step by having a submissive attitude towards her husband.

b. Mutual Respect

Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Jokes on Marital relationship
A man was talking to his friend and said, “In my house, I am the boss. I decide when I have to wash the clothes, when the floor has to be cleaned, and what food has to be made.” One of the guys said, “How long have you been married?” The man said, “Oh I’m not married, I’m single!”

A little girl said: “Daddy, you’re the boss of the house, right?” “Yes, sweetheart,” he said, “I’m the boss of the house.” “And I know why you’re the boss of the house, Daddy.” “Why’s that?” The girl said, “Because Mummy put you in charge.”

The wife may be qualified than the husband or may draw a bigger salary; however, the position in the house is for wives to respect your husband. Most importantly, respect should be mutual but God stresses it upon the wife to excel in showing respect.

c. Mutual Love

Ephesians 5:28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Husbands, what your wife needs is love. In the marital relationship, God calls the husband to take the first step by having a loving heart towards his wife. As Christ is the head of the church, the husband is the head of the wife. What did Christ do? He first loved us.

Most importantly, husbands, pour out His love in abundance upon your wives. For the more a husband loves his wife, the more the wife submits to her husband.

What is the pattern of the husband’s love? 

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

What is Christ’s love?

John 3:16 God gave his only son. All he had he gave it for us and that gives us eternal life. That is the pattern for us to love in our marital relationship. Mutual love. How like Christ loved the church. Describe God’s love and share the gospel.

1 Peter 3:2 When your husband observes the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].

Proverbs 15:18 Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth.

c. Mutual commitment

Be committed to your marital relationship until your death. That means, be committed to be together, build companionship, do things together and you are going to be joined until parted with death.

Romans 7:2 By law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive.
Matthew 19:6 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Many couples now stay in the same home but they are as good as divorced. There is nothing in common with them. Take time to be together as much as possible. At least have at least a meal together.

2) Working Couples & Marital Relationships

Long-time ago people who sacrificed their family, sleep, food, laughter, and other joys of life were called saints. But now they are called IT Professionals.

Take time to do things together: Take them to the supermarket. Slow down and experience life together! That’s communion. This will keep you from distancing away from each other.

Illustration: Commitment to a Marital Relationship

I heard the story of an old man, the president of a university whose wife developed Alzheimer’s disease. Several years down the road it got so bad that she could not even recognize her husband anymore. This man was well to do, gave her the best treatment and he had plenty of people taking care of her.

One day he went in an announced his resignation to the board because he could spend his full-time taking care of his wife. The board could not understand it, they tried to talk him out of it, they told him how needed he was. One member spoke up and said,” Why would you do this, you can hire people to take care of her.” The other member said, “Why would you do this, she does not even know who you are.” He looked up and said, “Listen I made a commitment to this woman over 50 years ago. She may not know who I am, but I know who she is.” That is the kind of commitment we need to have in our marital relationships.

Be committed to one another. When you are committed you will be able to enjoy your husband or enjoy your wife. They are God’s provisions for your joy. Take time to talk to your wife. She needs someone to relate to her.

Illustration: Wife: “I wish you talked to me as much for me as you do with your dog…you talk sweet to him, pet him, and care for his needs.”

3) Marital Relationships must be Prayer Centered

Do you remember the three-wheeled cycle rickshaw? Give the control of the first wheel to Jesus Christ. The husband and wife can follow as the rear wheels.


Finally, there is nothing like a perfect marital relationship. It is how we make it work together with the grace of God and how we involve God in our marital relationship. It is only when both the husband and the wife fulfill God’s purposes in the marital relationship does it become perfect. Hence in conclusion, may God give every couple in this place to work out a godly marital relationship.

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